A Makeovah

Yes, I did spend my entire summer in Los Angeles. Yes, it was incredible. No, I didn't blog about it, and here's why: I BARELY HAD TIME TO EVEN EAT. Seriously, I was so busy it was unhealthy. But it was a good busy. I learned so much absolutely invaluable information. I fell in love with the city. It was amazing.

But I am back at college for my fourth and final year and it is off to an interesting start. Last spring I met a new boy (let's call him Chuck) and we started dating casually, knowing that summer was just around the corner and we didn't want to get to invested before school ended and we would be in different cities for three months. Well, we both got pretty invested and it was hard not seeing him this summer, and we also hardly spoke because I was so busy.

So, as soon as I got back I called him and we hit it off right away. It was like no time had passed. After a couple of weeks of sheer bliss I came to realize that every time he got drunk (which, in college, is obviously 3 nights out of the 7 in a week), he would turn into a 5 year old. He was immature, rude and disrespectful. I turned into a shrew, calling him out on his bad behavior when all I wanted to do was have fun and relax. His behavior was turning me into a girl I didn't recognize. I broke it off and he understood. He told me he would have done the same thing if he was me. He can't control himself when he is drunk and I am not about to ask him to make drastic lifestyle changes for me. We are not in that place at all. The ironic thing was how mature he was during the breakup.

So that is what has been new and recent with me. I will try my hardest to keep this blog up. If I disappear for a while it's not that I am doing bigger and better things, it is that I am just lazy. No worries though, I will always eventually return.

I will post later about everything in L.A. There are lots of stories to tell...


Yes, I am obsessed.

I saw it 5 times in theatres, and since buying it at Borders yesterday (the sales clerk said I was the very first one to buy it), have watched it twice. Yes, yes. You know what I'm talking about. The movie we all love: Juno. Aren't we all a little bit in love with this movie, though?

No particular thoughts today. Just my tiny little homage to this movie before I get off the computer. To go watch Juno again.



Aren't you thrilled? Spring is in the air which means that my workload is much lighter. Spring break is over which means I'm no longer on the road constantly (I did 4 days of road tripping from the bay area, to Santa Barbara, to San Diego, to Disneyland, and back to the bay area--amazingly fun but exhausting). Now I'm back at school and settled in and taking fewer units for the purpose of actually enjoying myself this spring quarter.

In other news...my film project with that Chad guy has come to a screeching halt temporarily because he cannot seem to finish the script. He has struggled with the ending for a good 4 weeks now. We'll get there. We will. Also, my huge crush on Chad has completely disappeared. Just, *bam*, gone. I can't figure out why, but I'm not complaining! I have come out of a crush situation completely unscathed with a friendship still intact. I think this is what they call maturity! Go me.

And now for my rant of the day: catcalling. I mean, really guys. It happens to me in the small cowtown I go to school in, it happens to me in big cities, it happens in Europe, I mean where DOESN'T it happen? And what is the goal of these catcallers? Are they thinking I will run after their moving vehicle and say "hey baby! Give me a ride!! " No. If a girl does that, she is most likely a prostitute and in that case you did not need the catcall in the first place because she would have come up to your car anyway. Do they think all girls are flattered by this? Because we aren't. We are embarrassed and we feel objectified. And yes, all girls feel this way. Just ask one of them. So I guess that these catcallers are trying, on purpose, to objectify women. Well, thanks. You are going about it in a very humiliating and public way. Please stop. Your lime green mustang does not turn me on, nor does your blatant disrespect for women.


In my defense...

my computer totally crashed and died and has been in the repair place for 2 weeks. I am writing this little note in the small time I have on my friend's computer. I'm going through final exams right now without a computer at home and it is terrible! Wish me luck. I'll come back to you soon enough. I know, I know, you are waiting with bated breath.


Procrastination Is Your Friend

Writing my essay has proven to be boring, and thus, I blog.

Life is going well. My film project with Chad is going swimmingly. His script proves to be quite good. It's a chatty, smart comedy about a teenage boy going through a sort of identity crisis. It may sound trite but he writes it in such a way that makes it quite unique. I'm getting excited for this project. My crush on him, however, is only growing as time goes on which is bad bad news for both me and our project. I'm waiting for him to do something to seriously piss me off or for someone else to come along and distract me but after meeting him, everyone else just seems dull and dumb. I know. I'm screwed.

Brief story about Chad from this weekend actually. Him and my friend Alyssa (my future roommate) threw a small party this weekend. The second we walked in, Alyssa yelled "I'M BELLIG!!!"("bellig" n. abbr. "belligerent", extremely drunk, out of control, and hilarious.) The night was fun, yet I was not the most drunk person there at first which quickly changed once I played (and won...woot) three games of Beirut with my friend and therefore, in total, had about 10 beers in 2.5 hours. This is a lot for a girl of my stature and height.

So later on that evening I ask Chad if I may use his bathroom upstairs since the one downstairs is occupied and he obliges. When I come out of the bathroom he is standing in the hallway at the top of the stairs awkwardly with his hands in his pockets and a sort of embarrassed look on his face. This is the exchange that went down, along with my inner thoughts being shown with **.

me: oh, hey!
Chad: ooohhhh hey.
*what is chad doing chilling at the top of his stairs?*
me: do youuuu....need to use the bathroom?
Chad: oh, no no.
awkward silence....
*I'm going to take advantage of this situation*
me: Dude, I seriously love your shower curtain. A map of the world is such a bomb idea. I had no idea that Bolivia was where it was. Super educational.
Chad: oh, yeah. I love that thing.
Me: Here, let me show you something so crazy.

we go into his bathroom and I point out several things on the map that I actually genuinely find fascinating and he feigns interest and stands about 2 centimeters behind me. I can feel this kid breathing, practically.

*what is going on? Is he one of those drunk/high people that have zero depth perception and get too close? Is he trying to get closer as we gaze at this plastic map in his bathroom where Africa is blue? (p.s- I found it rather appropriate that Africa was "blue". This was one of the many things I talked to Chad about that night in the bathroom.)*

I was too drunk to remember, but somehow we ended up sitting on his bed chatting about our film, while he strummed on his guitar. Just as a refresher: Chad and I are making a movie together. He is writing the script and directing (he didn't want to direct but I am making him because it is a small project and his vision...and we don't know anyone else qualified for the job), and I am producing. Mind you, Chad says his movie is autobiographical. Also mind you, I would bone any man who can play the guitar like he can. Just sayin'.

me: Okay, here's my only concern with the script so far: We need to see the main female character, the main character's closest friend and crush, more than just once before the final scene. We need to know this girl. We need to love her as an audience before we can feel elated when they finally reunite at the end.
Long Silence...then Chad looks me right in the eyes, something he neeeeever does. He usually nervously glances around at the floor when he talks to anyone and then looks right at you when you aren't looking at him.
Chad: Yeah, I see what you mean. The audience needs to yearn for these two friends to be together so that when they finally are together they need the satisfaction that comes with it.
me: yes.
Chad: Okay...............................But I've been thinking of the end. What if the main character is too nervous around his friend to actually have anything more than friendship appear? I mean, is it suddenly out of character for the main guy to just gain courage? He is shy throughout the entire film.
Long Silence...
me: you can make it work. I have faith.
*seriously?! This conversation is something out of a movie. This is the part where you are supposed to look my in the eyes and kiss me godammit! Clearly I watch too many romantic comedies/have seen too many cheesy teen shows in my day...*
My phone then rang.
Jack (Alyssa's boyfriend): Adrienne? Are you still in the apartment? Alyssa is down here and she's puking a lot and keeps calling your name to come help her. Can you come down here?
Me: Of course.
Cue the long silence while Chad and I stare right at each other, again.
I just give him my best "you missed your chance and I dislike you for it" look and go downstairs to help my friend in need.

When I saw Chad the next night, he said "After you left I was really inspired by our conversation so I wrote 15 pages of script. I read them this morning and none of them made any sense. I guess I was too fucked up to make any good decisions last night."


Thank you for the most cryptic statement ever, Chad.

I believe that it is about a 90% chance that I am reading far too far into this whole thing, but isn't that what we do when we have crushes? Read into every little thing in hopes that it actually means something?

This project is so screwed. I am so screwed!

P.S- HAH! I am laughing so hard at that Dawson's Creek photo right now. I am resorting to images in my head like this one which clearly shows how much I've lost it. I'm a sucker for the sentimental as much as the last girl, but this is just beyond normal for me. What is wrong with me?! I'm losing my edge!

The Worst Blogger Ever Award goes too...


I know I've been MIA again. In my defense, its all because of midterms.

Fortunately, I now have tons to blog about! *golf claps*

When I am finished writing my 10 page paper tonight (which I haven't started yet), I will do a little posting love.


A rant-a-post

Sometimes I get a tad defensive and opinionated about movies, which is why I am so proud of myself today. I suppressed my urge to verbally slap my friend across the face. I am training to be diplomatic about these matters, and today was a step in the right direction.

My friend, Sarah, exclaimed today (nothing new- I knew this about her but each time it comes up again it hits me like a bullet train) that she "can't stand movies with sad or depressing endings. There's enough sadness in the world! Why would [she] want to watch it in a movie?!" xoxo! smiley face! heart!


I'm sorry. I love this girl so dearly. She is my oldest friend. But each time she mentions this I literally die a little inside. You know why? Because this girl will never even begin to understand what it is that I truly love and why I truly love it. I will spend the rest of my life completely devoted to creating films that change peoples lives on the biggest and smallest levels, and my close close friend will never even understand that and what that means.

So, it is not so much about the fact that I believe her statement to be completely ridiculous. She is entitled to her opinion. A lot of people feel that way about movies. It just breaks my heart that she cannot ever share with me my true love for movies and my belief in the power of film to create change.

Also, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting on the campus quad with Sarah, on a beautiful day, talking about how funny it was that all of my girlfriends from high school have decided to go into the medical field (literally- all but one!). Sarah then says, "that must make your chosen profession seem pretty shallow, doesn't it?" I just sat there and stared at her. I knew what she meant. And yes, I do have an inferiority complex about my chosen profession because it isn't doctor, lawyer, politician, vet, you get the idea. But to say that to me, literally made me feel this: | | big. I know she meant no harm. I know she was joking, but it seriously hurt me. I responded with my usual "I like to think I'm affecting people from another angle" shpeel but I was still hurt. It reminded me of the time my friend from highschool's parents (who are both successful lawyers, and very politically involved, who used to LOVE me because I wanted to be a politician) took me and another friend of ours out to dinner, and ignored me the entire meal, and only talked to our other friend about getting into Med school. Those people used to love me. Now they ignored me because I changed course. This was the same feeling. People around me losing faith and interest.

It makes those who have faith in me all that much more important.

The incident with Sarah on the quad made me realize that for my whole life I will have to defend my chosen path to people who deem it unworthy, selling out, shallow, whatever. I guess I just have to prepare myself for that. Or not defend it at all. Maybe thats the best idea. But I can't stand to sit there in silence. It's just not what I do.


Oscar Madness

Ah, my favorite time of year: award season!
The oscars are on tonight and I couldn't be more excited.
Here are my picks (who I think SHOULD win, not necessarily who I think will win) this year:
Oh, and P.S- I have seen every movie nominated for best picture except "There Will Be Blood" but I am judging that film and a few others I haven't seen based on the countless reviews I have read these past few months.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" (Warner Independent)
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" (Focus Features)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role (by far the hardest category...they were all AMAZING!)
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.)
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War" (Universal)
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal)
Julie Christie in "Away from Her" (Lionsgate)
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse)
Laura Linney in "The Savages" (Fox Searchlight)
Ellen Page in "Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster" (Universal)
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement" (Focus Features)
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone" (Miramax)
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)

Achievement in art direction
"American Gangster" (Universal): Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino
"Atonement" (Focus Features): Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
"The Golden Compass" (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Achievement in cinematography
"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.): Roger Deakins
"Atonement" (Focus Features): Seamus McGarvey
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Janusz Kaminski
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit

Achievement in costume design
"Across the Universe" (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky
"Atonement" (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran
"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Marit Allen
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood

Achievement in directing
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

Best motion picture of the year
"Atonement" (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production) A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.) A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

Adapted screenplay
"Atonement" (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
"Away from Her" (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

Original screenplay
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Real Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

p.s- you all sucked at replying to the last post. Shame!


I know, I know,

I have been super neglectful of this blog. School has been ridiculously hard, and so has my partying.

I swear I'll be back with a vengence in no time flat.

In the mean time, answer these questions:

1. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?

2. When was your first kiss?

3. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?

4. Are you currently mad at someone?

5. If you won a million dollars today and you were not allowed to spend any of it on yourself, you would...

6.Where is the weirdest place you have slept?

7. Last time you puked from drinking was...

8. Favorite style of underwear?

9. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

10. Who would you rather be: Luke Skywalker or Indiana Jones and why?

I knew these questions are suuuuper lame and sooo livejournal circa 2001 but deal with it. I am under mental and physical stress and its time you all talked for a change!!!


Greetings from Emotional Siberia

Where is the drama? The intrigue? The pazazz? My life is currently dullsville. Yes, I said dullsville. And here is why...

In high school I was surrounded my drama and seriously hated it. I went to a tiny private school where no one had anything better to do, and we were walking, talking stereotypes of upper middle and upper class snobbish high schoolers.

But at least it was interesting!

In college, nothing really goes on. I mean you get the occasional fun night where one or two things are pretty notable, but on the whole, my college life's story could fit on a single sheet of paper, front and back, if that.

There is no drama. Everyone here is super chill, laid back, and specifically the group I hang out with is extremely drama-free. I should be counting my lucky stars, right?


I'm so bored! And what am I supposed to write about? I mean honestly, the most exciting think in my life right now is my crush on my friend's roommate (Chad- the good-looking screenwriter I am currently working with), but even THAT crush is boring! Everyone has a crush on that kid! How completely common of me.

So, I apologize to you all, and to myself for being so dull. I should go spend a year in Zimbabwe or something. That would be tight.


Hugs and Kisses

127 Days until I move to Los Angeles.

So I decided to ditch the "currently listening too" business because it stresses me out spelling things correctly and making sure I am putting in something different every time.

Also, I learned this past week that I am going to be able to graduate early from college. One quarter early. Which means I will be graduating next March. I will probably stick around my college town for the last quarter and work/play equally as hard before I must enter the real world.

Also- Here is something I would like to know.

So we were hanging out last night with 2 of our closest guy friends last night. Totally casual and everything, like always, and it was 2 guys, and me and my 2 girlfriends. So one of my guy friends, lets call him Sam, made many very inappropriate and awkward moves on one of my girlfriends. Now, we have been friends with this guy for 3 years now, and all of us hang out all the time almost every weekend, don't you think that the platonic relationships have been established? I mean, she had to turn him down sooo awkwardly, and he drunkenly got very bitter and his attitude turned sour and ruined the whole evening. I mean, really?? Where did this come from? Why do guys do awkward shit like this? I mean, there is a fine line between desperation and and just plain obnoxious. When we hung out today to smoke and play frisbee in the park, there was this very uncomfortable vibe. All his fault. Geeze.


Ok peace out lovers.


America can't go wrong.


I wish I was a college dropout


I am allowed to write angry stuff about college professors because my mom is one of them and she would totally agree with me on about 99% of the stuff I have to say.

Qualm #1:
They make their exams absolutely impossible, even to the most avid studier, and then curve them all the way to hell and back. For example, I just looked at my online grade book for my communications course and it says that my raw score on the midterm was a 66% and my curved grade a 81% WHY NOT JUST MAKE THE EXAM SLIGHTLY EASIER. If their goal was to give students aneurysms during exams then they succeeded. College professors love to make their classes "challenging" in order to curve the grades to however they see fit. How about you just not test us at all and randomly hand out grades to us on a bell curve, since that is basically what you do anyway. Save us all the trouble.

Qualm #2:
They pontificate about the importance of asking questions in class, and then glare and/or roll their eyes when a student actually asks a question. Often these questions are valid and very much related to the topic at hand. I understand the eye-rolling when the over-achiever wants to know the color of Napoleon's eye's for his notes, but come ON. Don't be a hippocrite.

Qualm #3:
LEARN HOW TO DRESS YOURSELF. Seriously. I am not a shallow person, but I do have to stare at you for an hour and fifty minutes every other day. Try to put in SOME effort for God's sake. My mom, though she is sixty, looks like a million bucks every day when she goes to work and actually puts in minimal effort. This is partially due to the fact that she is naturally beautiful, but it is also just common sense. Hair brushes are for hair. Tooth brushes are for teeth. Orange and lime are not complimentary colors. You get the idea.

Though college is an incredible privilege that I have, it is also, in it's own way, a joke. Universities are giant mills that churn out average Jo's, and these Jo's are merely going through the motions of scholardom just to reach that glorious day when they are handed a diploma and they can high-tail it out of college. Or, for the less-motivated Jo, a week in college is merely a distraction from heavy drinking on weekends....over and over and over until they finally reach the end and realize that their drinking habit is no longer normal; it is alcoholism.

This little bout of negativity was brought to you by,

P.S- Why can't all college professors be like Indy?


It's the Island, Jack!

Ohhhh how I wish I had shit to say. No stories for your reading pleasure. No small question or thought to put on the digital page. Alas.

**Warning: Lost season premier spoilers**

Lost is simply amazing. And here is why: they rope you in. I do not know anyone who started watching Lost and then stopped. Once you see more than 3 episodes you are hooked and you become obsessed with finding out how it all ends. Only about one in twelve episodes actually answers anything- the other eleven just raise more questions! Seriously, this is a money-making genius plan. I have been watching from day one and cannot stop. The season premier that aired tonight didn't answer any questions at all! The only real thing that actually HAPPENED was that some random character we don't even care about died. Oh, and we also found out that we will now be doing flash-forwards instead of flash-backs for your viewing, and mind-bending pleasure.

Genius plan. Now that we know that they will be cutting these shenanigans off at six seasons, I am partially relieved, but also partially shocked at the realization that I will still be watching Lost in GRADUATE school. How old was I when it started? 3?


Strobe Lights and Writers

Currently Listening To...
Earth, Wind and Fire

Alright, so Saturday night did not end up being crazy. Friday, however, is story-worthy on a couple levels.

So we went to our friends' apartment because it is right next to this fraternity on campus and they were having some big party. Mind you, we haven't gone to a frat party in about a year or so, mostly because after freshman year they are dubbed as pretty lame. Unless you belong to a sorority and want to go to these parties to bone other guys besides your boyfriend, the novelty wears off pretty soon. The stereotype usually fits here at "UCC"; a bunch of beer-bellied dudes wearing some costume to fit the party theme are chugging their beers in the middle of the dance floor while each one has some scantily-clad chick grinding up on their nuts to techno beats and R&B re-mixes.

We decided that if we were wasted enough, this party could actually be really entertaining.

So I had a couple beers in me, and my friend, lets call him "Sam" hands me a cookie and tells me its an edible. He then told me he hasn't tried any yet, and that he just made them, but that he thinks they are pretty weak.

I think you know where this story is going.

So, the beauty of this anonymous blog is that I can openly discuss my partying habits without fear of discovery. I have never done a seriously hard drug, but I am a relatively recreational weed smoker. I would say I smoke once or twice every weekend pretty regularly. Definitely no pot head. (I do, though, own a little pink bong and we named it "Carrie Bradshaw". I know. Amazing.) So I have tried the edible once or twice before and have only had good experiences, (read: amazing senior class trip to Disneyland...Indiana Jones when you are high is super.) Anyway, so I was pretty sure this was a good idea. So me and my roommate, "Jessie", each have a little cookie and we all head to this frat party.

It was 80's exercise video themed (I know...), so everyone was wearing tiny shorts and headbands except for a few girls on the dance floor who were dressed in leopard print, bright pink and gold (depending on the girl).

So a group of about 6 of us were there, on the dance floor, and it was an amazing time. We just danced the night away. But THEN, the story turns a little sour at this point. The friggin' DJ turns on a strobe.

Cue the trip-out.

After about 10 straight minutes of strobe, Jessie and I turn to each other and give each other a look. The cookies have kicked in. We excuse ourselves for a couple minutes (although I really don't think anyone knew what we were saying since we were dancing right next to the speakers) and went outside to get a breather. I don't know about Jessie, but my experience was that I couldn't concentrate on a single thing for more then 3 seconds so I was unable to carry on conversations with anyone. I won't go into more details about this trip but it was kind of intense for an edible. When we were outside Jessie and I were fascinated with the fact that we couldn't hear anything and started shouting at each other, only to be immediately ridiculed by some guys nearby. Who knows what else happened out there since I don't remember. I don't wanna remember since all I recall is being made fun of. The dance floor started looking good again at that point. No conversation necessary.

We go back and our friend Alyssa was dancing with our friends Chad and Sam. As soon as we walk up, 3 guys come out of nowhere and each of them grabs one of us and starts freaking with us. Great. Now if you are a girl you will understand- you cannot see who is behind you so you check out the guy's friends who are dancing with your friends to size your guy up. Alyssa had a guy with a mustache. Enough said. Jessie had a guy who was pretending to spank her ass as he danced with her from behind and would look over to my guy and wink. Oh God. So I think Alyssa sees this too, and she is notorious for her cold rejections. I am too high to deal with this whole situation so I just watch this all go down in a kind of slow-motion stupor. Alyssa abruptly turns around to face her guy, raises her hand and and does a little "Bye bye" motion. This guy gives her a "what the hell?!" look and grabs her again, only to have her gently shove him away, give the "bye bye" gesture again, and again, and again, and again, until he finally gives her the finger and storms off. My guy and Jessie's guy go after him to console him. Bros before ho's. Whew.

Can I just do a brief interjection to this story and comment on the act of dancing when extremely high and/or drunk. It might be just me, but I always have the same experience. I dance and dance for what seems like 10 minutes but is actually about an hour, non-stop. During that time I don't even think about what I'm doing, and then, BAM...I have a completely sober, and sober-ING thought: Am I a really shitty dancer? I literally just snap out of it for about long enough to truly question my dancing abilities or lack there of. It is just this brief feeling of sheer horror that I am truly awful. I begin to get self conscious but then abruptly fall back into my high/drunk state of minimal consciousness. Does that happen to anyone else? Probably just me.


Flash forward to about 30 minutes later. Alyssa and I are standing in the entry hallway to this fraternity, waiting for Jessie and Chad to find our one friend in the frat to hook us up with more booze. The frat had run out (as they always do). We were typical frat-party girls: sweaty, shouting and leaning up against the wall for support. All that I remember (recall my 3-second goldfish-concentration ability at this point) is Alyssa looking over my shoulder at a girl in a leopard print dress (which we knew to be "Anna"- a Kappa Kappa Gamma who cakes on (and I mean CAKES on) the makeup and likes to get drunk, fuck guys, and pick fights). Then I remember Alyssa turning to me, her eyes only 2/3 of the way open and saying, "...blah blah blah why would he even hook up with a DIRTY KAPPA anyway?!!!" Oh crap. If you have ever been very very stoned then you know what it feels like to have an out-of-body experience, as if you are there in the situation but have no ability to be a part of it (due to lack of concentration and/or basic motor skills) and so you just sort of watch from "above" as shit goes down. So I stand there like a dummy and see this leopard-print hoochie (how is that even spelled?) appear in my peripheral vision and get right into Alyssa's face: "IS THERE SOME SORT OF PROBLEM OVER HERE?!" I think I might have managed to squeak out a small: "no!" but to no avail. Alyssa handles this well: "No no, not at all. I'm sorry did I say something to offend you? I apologize." This girl says something else, I can't remember, and then says: "I just feel like there is bad blood between our groups!" This snaps me into a brief moment of sobriety and I think: "Who are we, the Crypts and the Bloods?" but I return to my safe spot, floating above this whole situation as merely an observer. More talk happens an Alyssa appeases this drunk girl even though she WAS talking shit about her. I have to commend Alyssa here for handling this situation very well. This Anna chick once punched a girl in the face. That would have put an unpleasant twist on the evening.

So we eventually find our way back to our friend's apartment. I half pass out in a huge chair staring at, not watching, "Rock of Love" reruns while my friends smoke more, drink more, and try to guide Chad back home on the telephone, since he had somehow wandered off by himself in the burbs of Cowtown.

I somehow get a cab to pick us up (after giving him an incorrect address 3 times) and Jessie and I arrive home safe. We sit down and watch the final episode of Real World Sydney which was a bunch of people crying and pretending they missed each other. My still-high self found this hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing, and Jessie found my laughing hysterical, so we had a good 5 minute-long laughing fit and went to bed.

P.S- On another note, something else I found out that night was amazing. Chad, that model-faced tall guy who is super quiet yet charming, revealed to me that he wanted to be a screenwriter. He told Jessie earlier that night, before I joined them that he wanted to talk to me because he had written some stuff and wanted me to read it. So she brought it up. In response to me asking him why he JUST brought this up after weeks of knowing me, he said, "As soon as I found out you wanted to be a producer I wanted to tell you, but then I didn't know what you were like at all since we just met. So I just kind of slowly found out what kind of movies/music/books you like to make sure we are on a similar page, and I really liked what I saw, so I want you to read my stuff." OK, he's been testing me?! Scary! But hey, I passed! So he is sending me his 2 screenplays, his novel, and this journal he has of every idea he's ever had for a script. I am going to read them and hopefully like them. If I don't he said he would love to hear some ideas I have and he would gladly collaborate and write something together. I will email my contacts at "UC Cowtown" Filmmakers Society and see if they can help us get crew, cast and equipment together and make this thing actually happen. I have been DYING for some talent to come along and want to collaborate and actually make something. The film program here is brand new and filmmakers/writers are few and far between, so you couldn't understand how excited I am to try and get something off the ground. Oh, and I guess that Chad is interning this summer for David E. Kelly!!!! Dude. This guy is amazing. Could I be more excited to start this project with him? No.


Gosh Darn

Currently Listening To...
Wincing the Night Away, The Shins

So in women's studies class today we were on the topic of "culturally constructed norms" in regards to women. One girl raised her hand and said that she thought it was terrible when girl's cursed. She said that she found it immature and off-putting when a girl did it, but not when a guy did it. Most of the class nodded in agreement.

Is this true? I mean, I am no Tony Soprano but I do my fare share of swearing. Aside from being a girl, does it show a lack of imagination for any writer to swear? Is it a turn-off? I actually swear way more in my real life than I do in my blogging here, and I actually try and tone it down here. It is surely a bad habit, but is it really a sign of immaturity or lack of imagination?


And on another note: my Saturday night is going to be ridiculous. Stay tuned for what is sure to be a more than hilarious recap.



Currently Listening To...
Graduation, Kanye West

Warning: This post isn't like my other posts. It's a tad introspective and self-indulgent. You have been warned.

As I sit here in my freezing cold apartment (my roommate hates high PG&E bills) I can't help but let my mind wander about summers past. It seems like the older I get, the less tumultuous my summers are. I prefer it that way, but i feel like pretty soon my summers will be so dead that I will find myself passed out on the couch watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns. And I hate that show.

Last summer I interned at the San Francisco Film Commission at S.F city hall. Amazing experience, let me tell ya. My (female) boss had the dirtiest mouth and was married to an actor (Peter Coyote) who would call the office and ask for " my wife, the bangin' hottie". It was a colorful summer, albeit uneventful aside from that. Oh, right, I also went with my mom to Paris and Sicily. My mother teaches art history at our local community college and is a guest lecturer every year at what people like to call "The Ivy League School on the West Coast". So ever since I was still in the womb I have been going to Europe. Mom calls it "research". I call it "free travel". We all win.

Summer-before-last I was a sales associate at JCrew. Not a good time although my good friend from high school, "Cassie", worked with me and we would talk shit about our fellow employees after work. That made the situation live-able. One of our bosses was this pretty, preppy girl who had a name like "Kelly" or "Karen" or something and always wore argyle and had a smile plastered on her face. One day when I was walking back from my lunch break I saw her standing in this hidden corner of the outdoor mall, chain smoking and swearing like a sailor about the guy she had fucked the night before.

Two summers ago I was preparing to go away to college. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything remotely useful with my time, apart from cause some major drama among my peers. I slept with my closest male friend. Actually, I took his virginity. I had broken up with The Ex (capitalization means he's the big one. The important one. The high school sweetheart. The First, yes, that fist), 2 days prior. It was the third and final time I would break up with him during the span of our time together. More on that later. Anyway, aside from that, I don't remember much about the rest of the drama other then that it was completely unrelated and ended with another one of my ex boyfriends hooking up with my best friend of four years and then lying to me about it until my ex finally broke down and told me. I couldn't understand why they kept it from me in the first place. It wouldn't have mattered had they not lied. I forgave my best friend for lying to me but nothing was ever the same and that was the beginning of the end of my friendship with her. A lot happened after that, and we slowly drifted despite my desperate efforts to salvage the little we had left. Now we don't speak.

The summer before senior year of high school was the worst in my life. We will end with this one because no summer prior to this one will be of any interest or importance compared to this summer. This was the summer that I went off to summer school in D.C for a program for really politically nerdy kids. The day after I came home I was told that my father was leaving our family.


Since that summer my life has never been the same. Over the next few weeks after it happened I dealt with it by not dealing with it, which is something I have been paying for over the past couple years. In the first week after it happened, I broke up with The Ex (for the first time), went to too many parties, did the stereotypical teenage angst thing for a few days, closed myself off emotionally to all of my friends, and discovered a new-found interest in kissing lots of boys (see above).

Some of you may say "oh, boo hoo, the worst of her problems is her parents getting divorced. Every one's parents get divorced." Until it happens to you, especially if it comes as a shock and when it comes when you are 17, you have absolutely no idea what it is or what it feels like. Just because something happens frequently doesn't mean that it is any less painful or a big deal. Example: one out of three females in the united states has been molested in some form before they turn 12. Just because it happens so frequently, does that mean it is any less disgusting or shocking? No. I rest my case.

Really what this post is about is time. Looking back at these past summers has made me realize that when we are young, things change so very quickly. The difference between being 17 and 20 is absolutely astronomical, and this fascinates me. I have grown, the people who surround me in life have come and gone, and I am a different person then I was then, but I am dealing with the same issues. We don't grow up; we grow through.



Heath Ledger passed away today in his apartment. This seriously breaks my heart for the obvious reasons in that he was way too young, talented, and that he was a father to 2 year old Mathilda. But, in a less obvious way, his death is a true tragedy to me specifically.

My freshman year in college I was a PoliSci major. My dream was to be a political mover and shaker; I wanted to change the world.

One day, I finally decided to get Brokeback Mountain on Netflix and I watched it on a rainy day during winter quarter when I was stuck in bed with the flu. As soon as it had finished, I pushed "play" again and watched it a second time. My roommate came back and we watched it together, again. My third time that day. The following day I rushed back from my night class to watch it a fourth time, before finally returning it in it's red envelope.

Since then I have purchased the original short story and have read it several times, and I finally caved and purchased the DVD and I have watched it 5-7 more times since then. I couldn't get enough of the acting, the story, the setting, the characters. Aside from my own personal school-girl obsession with Jake Gyllenhaal, it was something more. I was moved by it more than I had ever been moved by a political movement or political figure. I loved this movie, plain and simple. I loved it in the way I loved Almost Famous, but with this movie it was different. I loved it's message. I also loved it because it was a love story, plain and simple. It wasn't a film that was just about homosexuality; it touched on the purest and most real human emotion: love. It did this more beautifully than I had ever seen another movie attempt. Anyone could relate to it.

Heath Ledger was mostly responsible for my reaction to this film. The way that words seemed to fight their way out of his mouth and the way in which just one small look would convey a whole world of emotion was truly incredible. His character was tortured by love in a way that was almost too much to watch.

This performance single-handedly got the ball rolling on what would soon be labeled as my obsession with film. Soon after my experience with Brokeback Mountain I began to seriously question my future and evaluate what was really important to me. Film made me happy and passionate. These were feelings I had never really felt before. I was inspired, and two weeks later I changed my major, powered through 3 books on the history of film, and began my search for the role that I would play in an industry that could produce something like Brokeback Mountain. Since then I have been moved in this same way by countless movies and my passion is still going strong.

I want to change lives, and film, not politics, will be my tool.

I want to produce films that move large scores of audiences in the same way this film moved me.

So, thank you, Heath, for being my inspiration. I hope you rest in peace.


It's been a while/ How you've come back in style/ singin' "Hey, na na na na na na"

Currently Listening Too...
Juno Motion Picture Soundtrack

For me, being at Sundance was like being on a really good first date.

The company was incredible. Everyone there only wanted to talk about movies and were there for one of two reasons: to promote/buy a film, or they were there for the pure love of movies. The setting was magical (albeit, negative one degrees!), the food lovely, and I returned home with a feeling of euphoria and satisfaction.

In my short time there I was able to see eight films: The Yellow Handkerchief (amazing film starring William Hurt, Maria Bello and Kirsten Stewart about an unlikely group who take a road trip together), Frozen River (a story about a financially unstable woman who meets a young Native American woman and they help smuggle foreigners across the border for money), The Wave (a modern, German take on a true story that actually took place in Palo Alto, CA, about a high school teacher who's school simulation project about Fascism gets way out of hand), Good Dick (easily my favorite- about a young guy (Jason Ritter) who works in a porn shop and becomes obsessed with and starts a relationship with an incredibly troubled girl who comes into the store every single day to rent porn. Take note that this film was written, directed, produced by and starred in by a 26 year old girl-Marianna Palka), American Son (a story about a young U.S Marine (Nick Cannon) who is home on leave for 90 hours before he is shipped off to Iraq for the first time), The Last Word (my 2nd favorite film I saw- about a man (Wes Bently) who writes suicide notes for other people for a living and meets the sister (Wynona Ryder) of one of his clients at the funeral and they begin an odd relationship while he is in the process of becoming close friends with his newest client (Ray Romano)), Sleep Dealer (written and directed by Alex Rivera; a futuristic, political science-fiction film about a young Mexican guy who struggles to make ends meet for his family), and Perro Come Perro (a Colombian mobster film about the reality of the Colombian mafia and it's dog-eat-dog mentality).


I would write more about each one but I don't want to spoil them in case the Studios come to their senses, buy the films and release them in theatres. The films that I saw that are most likely to be bought (these predictions coming from the buzz I heard around town and from Variety magazine) are The Yellow Handkerchief, American Son and The Last Word.

I also had a lot of celebrity sightings, but not as many as I was planning on because my Dad and I made it our priority to see as many films as possible, so I was pretty much sitting in theatres the whole time. I did see Paris Hilton (hah), Audrina Pettridge (another hah), Bill Pullman, Quentin Tarantino (he sat 3 rows behind me in Sleep Dealers), Kirsten Dunst, Stanley Tucci and a few others.

We had to get up at 4am every morning to get in line to get day-of tickets which worked out fine, but I am now totally exhausted. Most sane people don't do Sundance that way but this was planned so last-minute that we had too.

It was so crazy how L.A was essentially re-located to Park City. Everything had to do with who you knew, your celebrity status, or how much money you had. Those who could afford the 2500 dollar all-access pass were treated like Britney Spears by the volunteers, and those who didn't have those passes but who were important enough were allowed to cut the line. It was all quite a show and I got a kick out of it.

I wish I could chat more but I'm just so beat it is crazy. (It was not so smart for me to go out to a party RIGHT after I got home last night.)

This week is a busy one in terms of school work, so therefore I will be blogging often as a form of procrastination.

p.s- Happy MLK Jr. Day!

The famous Egyptian Theatre on Main Street.

Park City, Salt Lake City, Utah.

Marianna Palka, Jason Ritter, and the rest of the cast doing Q&A for Good Dick.

Director (Geoffrey Haley) and Wes Bently doing Q&A for The Last Word.

Bill Pullman (While You Were Sleeping, Independence Day) being interviewed on Main Street to promote his new film at Sundance.

The main cast members (Nick Cannon and Matt O'Leary) and director Neil Abramson discuss American Son.


Nighttimin' Baybeh

Currently Listening Too...
Finding Forever, Common

OK, I told myself I would never blog about politics because I just get all riled up and opinionated and tend to piss people off. All I will say is...

Bill Clinton came to speak at my University last night and it was the 2nd most incredible thing I have ever witnessed.

The 1st most incredible being his speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004.

OK I'm done.

Anyway, just a couple of things for today:

First, I decided I was tired of writing to absolutely no one so I joined some groupie thingies just to see what this whole blogging world is all about and to get maybe one or two people to read this thing.

Second, I head to Sundance Film Festival with my dad tomorrow!!! It was a Christmas gift from him this year. I could NOT be more thrilled and ecstatic. Obviously I will dedicate an entire entry to this later.

Third, This also means that I won't be writing for a few days.

I know this entry was INCREDIBLY dull but it had to be done.

Love and Peace.


Oh yeah...

Currently Listening Too...
Both Sides of the Gun, Ben Harper

Here is something True:

I lead a charmed life.

No, really, I'm disgustingly privileged and therefore have been told that I have less of an "original voice" than, say, J.D Salinger. OK, I will give you J.D Salinger, but honestly, I feel a little screwed from the get-go. I can't help where I'm from. But, they have a point; How many things could I possibly say about college life, or movies, or hopes and dreams yadda yadda?

I have been told several times, by several authoritative figures (i.e English teachers and professors), that I have what it takes to be a writer, if only I had the background.

I both agree and disagree with this statement.

First of all, I don't even want to be a writer so being told this just angers me more. You never want to be rejected by something you didn't want for yourself in the first place. But here I am, blogging away so this is now an issue haunting me.

It is very true that I was not once a stripper. It is very true that I have never done time in jail, let alone been suspended from school (though I did come close once). Nor have I spent a long, tortured childhood in the painfully cold Midwest where there is nothing to do but absorb pop culture via the television set. It turns out the only major literary crime I have committed is growing up in the part of California that tends to breed well-rounded, down-to-earth, happy, comfortably liberal, peace and love and all that shit, people.


OK, so I may be a tad short on dark material. But who needs dark when you've got painfully self-aware, jaded, and downright insecure?

That, to me, smells like literary gold. Actually, not gold. More like silver.

Possibly not even silver. I'm going to downgrade to, say, nickel or cast-iron.

But my point is, I have shit to say so I'm going to say it no matter what kind of mediocrity stands in my way. I cannot help where I'm from, nor can I help the fact that I had the perfect childhood and that up until three years ago my family was something out of the 1950's. Or at least 1950's idealistic fiction. The line there is a bit blurry.

So I guess that I am now classified as an upper-middle class, white, fluff-writer. Great. Persona-wise I get to be lumped in with Stephen King and Nicholas Sparks. I'm actually a lot like Nicholas Sparks, minus his whole, ambiguous sexuality, thing. (I don't care what you say, no man's-man can write stuff that makes me weep like that. Nor does a man's man have hand-pressed purple button-downs.)

I will never be Chuck Palahniuk or Davis Sedaris. I don't want to be them because that is not my experience (actually, it's copyright). So I will continue to blog to no one and I will write with the comfort of knowing that I am only sharing this mediocrity and sunny past with myself. And that sounds pretty good to me.


just don't know how to quit you

Currently listening too...
Radiohead, In Rainbows

Yeah, so, that "Hockey party" I went too? It was definitely a roller hockey party. What is roller hockey, you ask? Good question. Here is what it is, in a nutshell: A bunch of idiots wearing knee pads, stumbling around in roller blades. Lame. Now, as silly as this sport seems to me, it may not seem so silly to you. But, this party we went to was undeniably ridiculous.

So me and my three friends arrive at this party with one of my friend's male roommates. Let's call my three friends, "Alyssa" (the one with the clever slag, from San Diego), "Jessie" (my blonde roommate from Santa Barbara), and "Sophie" (a childhood friend of mine who I lost touch with until we ran into each other freshman year at college and became instant friends again like not a day had passed, from the Bay Area). So we came to this party with "Chad", Alyssa's roommate. Chad is this tall, blonde, model-faced boy who's shockingly quiet but when talking to him, he makes you feel like the most important person in the room. Anyway, we only recently got to know this guy because Alyssa has just moved in with him and another guy. Now, this other roommate, is a member of the roller hockey team at UCC. So, we all decided to venture to this "initiation" party the team was throwing.

Cue the awkwardness.

We arrive, and the four girls stand around the basement, where this party is taking place, at the foot of the stairs, because it's the only place we can all fit, and it is nearest the keg. Chad socializes with his roommate and all of the teammates while we stand in a circle, sipping our beer and trying to act fascinated with each others outfit's, shouting conversation. After each of us quickly finish our cups of beer, we all re-fill and find vacancy on this corner couch which we promptly occupy, only to take note of the fact that we are suddenly the only females in the room. The skanky (and un-flatteringly dressed) girls have gone with other guys to get another keg, and the four of us sit on the couch, right next to the speakers. Promptly, one Asian guy wearing glasses sits down next to Alyssa and begins to chat with her about the song playing (which was "No Diggity", by the way. How much is there to say, really, about this song?) Not to be downright bitchy about it, but Alyssa is a bit out of this poor kid's league. Let me paint a mental picture for you: Alysssa, a former model, sitting on a couch with her three friends, and a slightly overweight roller-hockey teammate who is clearly too drunk to complete sentences, let alone sustain an erection, trying to make conversation about a late-90's hip hop song at a party in a basement in the middle of the boonies of California. Now, as this is happening, I turn to the friend directly to my right on the couch (I was in the middle, now), and see that a relatively decent-looking guy has sat himself next to Sophie. He is staring directly ahead and makes zero eye contact with Sophie. This boy had plenty of places to sit. Or stand. But he chose this place. And says nothing. So Sophie, with a buzz, and also just being the generally friendly person that she is, attempts to strike up a conversation which completely fails due to the fact that he will only look directly in front of himself. It looked like she was a wife talking to her husband while he was trying to watch the game. This was how the night began.

After about an hour of this, with various guys in the room trying their hand at chatting with the bored girls on the couch (we must have looked like such elusive bitches. Ew.), I spot one guy across the room in a light blue plaid shirt. I lean over to Alyssa (she is now at my left due to extremely frequent trips to the keg resulting in a musical-chairs situation), and say "OK, finally, a cute guy at this party!" Now, Alyssa and I have VERY different taste. We both enjoy clean-cut, but she tends to value height and hair color, while I go for the eyes and smile. It's like the difference between being a boobs man or an ass man. Trust me. Anyway, so she actually agrees with me. This guy is pretty tall, with shortly cropped blond hair, piercing green eyes and has that whole "I'm down-to-earth" look going for him. He looked super confident, but also very shy. So, (and just mind you, I have never had this happen to me before) we make eye-contact from across the room, and BAM. I think he may have seen me gesture towards him and whisper to Alyssa, but lets just ignore that for the sake of a better story. So he actually strolls over to the couch, and Alyssa "discreetly" scoots over, and he sits down and introduces himself. And the conversation that ensued was terrible. Terrible in that it was dull. I tried, I really did. After many awkward silences I decided I was, for once, going to settle for a pretty face instead of intelligent conversation for the night, and attempt to make something happen with this guy. Now, what happens next is extremely fuzzy, so I am going to describe the action as I remember it: in bits and pieces.

I make brief conversation about the party.
He tells me he is in AGR (the agricultural frat on campus. yuck.)
Look past this. He is hot.
He sees an opening for a joke.
Laugh laugh, touch the knee.
In doing so, spill some beer.
Oops, lots of beer spilled.
Get up to get clean.
Bathroom? Possibly.
New guy in green-eye guy's spot.
New guy: "Hey there girlie! Took your spot. Don't shoot me!!"
Shoot me now.
Green-eye boy gazes at me with sexy eyes and shrugs helplessly.
They are buddies.
Stuck on edge of couch with Mr. Douchebag.
Douchebag wants to compare "once I was so drunk..." stories.
Fuck that shit.
Get up to grab beer bong sitting on table and grab Jessie.
Two of us. Beer bong.
Green-eyed guy helps hold my bong tube??? Possibly.
Sit back down.
Mr. Douchebag slides in next to me.
Male friend arrives at party, let him be called "Charlie".
Charlie sits on my other side.
Long long convo with Charlie about God-knows-what.
Corner of my eye, see Jessie stand up off of couch and walk onto dance floor.
Sophie gets off couch, goes upstairs.
Alyssa joins Jessie on dance floor.
Alone on couch with Charlie, Mr. Douchbag, and green-eyed guy.
I get awkward.
Stand up.
Join Jessie and Alyssa.
What happened?

This is what I do remember clearly: Jessie's story. Mr. Douchebag had challenged Jessie's hardcore-ness with beer chugging. Sophie chimes in with how her little brother is a hard core beer chugger. Mr. Douchebag tells Sophie that her little brother should join AGR. Jessie: "EW. HAHA. EW. NO WAY. FUCK THAT FRAT. EW! THEY ARE SO LAME HAHA." Jessie thought it was a joke. Mr. Douchebag promptly gets extremely offended and turns into Mr. Drunken-rage-douchebag. Awkwardness ensues. Everyone disperses.

R.I.P opportunity with green-eyed guy.

Later on in the party we eye each other while he is standing next to Mr. Douchebag and he half-smiles and shrugs again. Nice.

Jessie was terribly sorry about my missed opportunity but replies with: "You would never want to hook up with an AGR anyway."

The End.

Epilogue: Chad, the roommate, is molested later on by this freakishly tall lacrosse-playing girl who's line was "I can body-check girls onto the field." She shoved him up against the kitchen counter and proceeded to make out with him. The four of us stood in the front doorway and pointed and giggled like middle schoolers at them. She looked up and saw us, so out of shame we closed the front door. Later on, as we are walking home, Chad calls us, finds out where we are, runs to catch up, and then goes into a 15 minute long monologue about how he was molested that night in the kitchen by the giant.

Peace out lovers.

sweet vids

Brief chit chat:
I put in a video thingie at the bottom. The keywords I put into the search were: "Juno", "Almost Famous", "superbad", "funnyordie" and "perezhilton". Basically if you hit "refresh" in your browser then a new batch of lovely videos will show up. Yay for sexy vids!


SoHority chicks........have nothing to do with this post

My friend just totally cracked me up with that clever little phrase. We will call this friend, "Alyssa". Thanks Alyssa for brightening not just my day, but my blog post title as well.

So I'm sitting here listening to Jason Schwartzman's new solo music project, Coconut Records. Absolutely incredible. Here is what blows my mind: HOW CAN ONE FAMILY BE SO TALENTED. Let me count the ways: Jason Schwartzman, Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia Coppola, Robert Carmine (of Rooney) and Nicolas Cage. I mean, come on. The Hollywood Coppola family is just ridiculously blessed with talent. It's time they spread the love a bit.

On a completely different note...

One thing that I will give to Myspace (I usually loathe myspace and its crazily disorganized antics, with 8 year olds and their neon purple backgrounds and flashing multi-colored hearts,) is that the "Currently Listening" feature is pretty sweet. I will give them that. I wish this thingie had that. Maybe I will start just writing that into the beginning of my blogs. HAH. Take that Tom.

So here is a little anecdote from the other day:
So I am sitting in my Italian class and before the professor comes in (hes religiously late) these girls are discussing movies. Now, little do they know who they are in the room with; I am a notorious movie snob, but not just a snob, I am also super opinionated and get frustrated when people see differently. Now, I see the obnoxiousness in this, and I also see the contradiction: one of the reasons why I love movies so much is their ability to tie people together in ways that other mediums only attempt in vain. But still. It is so hard for me to sit in a room with a group of people who talk about "that gay cowboy movie" without having an aneurysm. (You know what movie I'm talking about- I mean give the goddamn art some credit! That label it has been given is so belittling. I could go on....but I'll spare you the rant.) Anyway, I digress. So these girls are chatting about recent films. The two that they bring up are Sweeny Todd and Juno. Now, one girl says "I saw the musical and it was sooooo much better. They cut out like 5 songs in the movie! Terrible!" Now, me, who can't keep her big mouth shut, lean over and say, with a sweet smile: "Well, I guess it would be a little difficult to have a 3.5 hour movie. You know? Movies don't have intermissions. Gotta cut it down somewhere!" So this girl looks at me like "Who the hell are you?" but says "Yeah. I guess. Whatever." Victory. So then this other girl says: "Well OK that Juno movie? I mean, so many Hollywood movies these days are against abortion! Knocked Up?! She doesn't even consider an abortion! And Juno?! Just the mere mention of fingernails makes her turn around and have the baby!" My God. So of course, after another girl does a shitty job of trying to explain why this is a ludicrous statement, I pipe in again: "Well with Knocked Up, I mean...you wouldn't have a movie if she didn't decide to keep the baby. I mean, they would meet, and then have sex, then get pregnant, and have an abortion. No conflict there. No movie. And with Juno, same exact thing." Luckily all the girls around me pipe in and support this claim, but that one girl just STARES me down. I mean trust me, I am pro-choice just as much as the next Californian, but I mean, give Hollywood some credit. Sometimes you have to set aside the reality in order to get a good story. I'm sorry, but what idiots.

So, apart from making enemies in Italian class, I have been trying to get applications done. And failing. Seriously, I don't know about you guys, but I find that the more responsibilities I have, the less responsible I become. Example #1: I am going to an ice hockey party tomorrow night instead of staying home and reading like I should be. Glorious.

Peace out homes. Time for some shuteye.



my grammar and spelling suck huge balls. I apologize. Move on.

throw some d's

Just for clarification: I know that the title of my blog may be misleading, but I am not a burn victim. The title was chosen for its similarity to the best movie in existence, and also for it's relevance to the blogging world.

Just thought I should clear that up.

In other news-- I have made the executive decision to not tell any of my close friends/relatives/peers/neighbors/pets etc. about this blog. Honestly, it's a little embarrassing. Here I am, blogging away like an asshole. The last time anyone did this when it was cool was in the 6th grade when everyone created a blog and documented the woes of the last school dance, their favorite Backstreet Boys song and the unfairness of Mrs. Stevenson and her evil math problems.

So, I will write this anonymously and without any one's knowledge. Blogging is kind of weird when you know no one is reading it because you still are writing TOO someone, but this someone is just...the vast endlessness of the Internet.

That brings me to another point: obviously my name is not Bea. This is a pseudonym I have chosen randomly for this blog, and I will continue to use pseudonyms for any names I bring up. For example, lets call the University that I attend: The University of California at Cowtown. UCC for short. Excellent.

I am about to go to Jewish Studies class where we learn about Jews in Hollywood. I already missed two classes today because I slept through my alarm because I was up late making this thing......I'm a great student. Something you should know about me.

OK lovely readers, or rather, non-readers, I'm off too class.


Hello All

162 days until I move to L.A...

Blogging always seemed a tad self-indulgent to me (why the hell should you care what I have to say?) but I was inspired, quite honestly, by Diablo Cody's blog. If you haven't read it, please do. She is hilarious, insightful and honest: my three favorites.

This is the blog of a college Junior, living in California (born and raised; I did live in Texas for one year when I was 4, but clearly I was held there against my will). I don't really fancy myself a writer, although I am an English minor (with a double major in Film Studies and Communication), nor do I fancy myself particularly hilarious nor insightful, but, honest I can do.

I will do my best to update, although I've never been one to stick to things 'till the end. Like when I was young and my parents would take me to a museum and I would insist on getting a drawing pad and pastels at the gift shop because I was going to be the next Degas and two days later the dirty pad and broken pastels would be left on the floor of the kitchen never to be touched again.

I suppose that since hardly anyone will be reading this (most likely no one)-- this blog will mostly be for myself. See? Like I said. Self-indulgence. But let me explain.

My dream in life (at least-currently) is too work in the film industry. Yes, Hollywood. Cue the rolling of the eyes. But it's not like I want to pack up a tiny pink suitcase and move into a sad apartment and become a poor, starving actress. No, no. I wanna be a Producer...drink champagne until I puke. You know how the rest of the song goes. No, but in all seriousness, that is an ambition of mine, albeit a far-fetched one. Movies simply make me happy in the purest and most real way that I know. (I will write another blog entry all about that grand epiphany- don't you worry, since obvi you were). As for now, I am perfectly content to immerse myself in the industry in any way possible. As for now, I am interested in any and all aspects of it. I ain't picky. So, this summer I have been accepted to USC's School of Cinematic Arts summer program will I will take a class that will "introduce me to the film industry". I am also applying for a gazillion internships in Los Angeles for the summer as well, so I can get more hands-on experience. I am so excited, nervous, ready and waiting.

This blog will aim to document my college woes and foes, my journey to Hollywood, and it will also be a place for me to discuss life, the universe and everything.