Tragedy

Heath Ledger passed away today in his apartment. This seriously breaks my heart for the obvious reasons in that he was way too young, talented, and that he was a father to 2 year old Mathilda. But, in a less obvious way, his death is a true tragedy to me specifically.

My freshman year in college I was a PoliSci major. My dream was to be a political mover and shaker; I wanted to change the world.

One day, I finally decided to get Brokeback Mountain on Netflix and I watched it on a rainy day during winter quarter when I was stuck in bed with the flu. As soon as it had finished, I pushed "play" again and watched it a second time. My roommate came back and we watched it together, again. My third time that day. The following day I rushed back from my night class to watch it a fourth time, before finally returning it in it's red envelope.

Since then I have purchased the original short story and have read it several times, and I finally caved and purchased the DVD and I have watched it 5-7 more times since then. I couldn't get enough of the acting, the story, the setting, the characters. Aside from my own personal school-girl obsession with Jake Gyllenhaal, it was something more. I was moved by it more than I had ever been moved by a political movement or political figure. I loved this movie, plain and simple. I loved it in the way I loved Almost Famous, but with this movie it was different. I loved it's message. I also loved it because it was a love story, plain and simple. It wasn't a film that was just about homosexuality; it touched on the purest and most real human emotion: love. It did this more beautifully than I had ever seen another movie attempt. Anyone could relate to it.

Heath Ledger was mostly responsible for my reaction to this film. The way that words seemed to fight their way out of his mouth and the way in which just one small look would convey a whole world of emotion was truly incredible. His character was tortured by love in a way that was almost too much to watch.

This performance single-handedly got the ball rolling on what would soon be labeled as my obsession with film. Soon after my experience with Brokeback Mountain I began to seriously question my future and evaluate what was really important to me. Film made me happy and passionate. These were feelings I had never really felt before. I was inspired, and two weeks later I changed my major, powered through 3 books on the history of film, and began my search for the role that I would play in an industry that could produce something like Brokeback Mountain. Since then I have been moved in this same way by countless movies and my passion is still going strong.

I want to change lives, and film, not politics, will be my tool.

I want to produce films that move large scores of audiences in the same way this film moved me.

So, thank you, Heath, for being my inspiration. I hope you rest in peace.