Sometimes I get a tad defensive and opinionated about movies, which is why I am so proud of myself today. I suppressed my urge to verbally slap my friend across the face. I am training to be diplomatic about these matters, and today was a step in the right direction.
My friend, Sarah, exclaimed today (nothing new- I knew this about her but each time it comes up again it hits me like a bullet train) that she "can't stand movies with sad or depressing endings. There's enough sadness in the world! Why would [she] want to watch it in a movie?!" xoxo! smiley face! heart!
gag.
I'm sorry. I love this girl so dearly. She is my oldest friend. But each time she mentions this I literally die a little inside. You know why? Because this girl will never even begin to understand what it is that I truly love and why I truly love it. I will spend the rest of my life completely devoted to creating films that change peoples lives on the biggest and smallest levels, and my close close friend will never even understand that and what that means.
So, it is not so much about the fact that I believe her statement to be completely ridiculous. She is entitled to her opinion. A lot of people feel that way about movies. It just breaks my heart that she cannot ever share with me my true love for movies and my belief in the power of film to create change.
Also, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting on the campus quad with Sarah, on a beautiful day, talking about how funny it was that all of my girlfriends from high school have decided to go into the medical field (literally- all but one!). Sarah then says, "that must make your chosen profession seem pretty shallow, doesn't it?" I just sat there and stared at her. I knew what she meant. And yes, I do have an inferiority complex about my chosen profession because it isn't doctor, lawyer, politician, vet, you get the idea. But to say that to me, literally made me feel this: | | big. I know she meant no harm. I know she was joking, but it seriously hurt me. I responded with my usual "I like to think I'm affecting people from another angle" shpeel but I was still hurt. It reminded me of the time my friend from highschool's parents (who are both successful lawyers, and very politically involved, who used to LOVE me because I wanted to be a politician) took me and another friend of ours out to dinner, and ignored me the entire meal, and only talked to our other friend about getting into Med school. Those people used to love me. Now they ignored me because I changed course. This was the same feeling. People around me losing faith and interest.
It makes those who have faith in me all that much more important.
The incident with Sarah on the quad made me realize that for my whole life I will have to defend my chosen path to people who deem it unworthy, selling out, shallow, whatever. I guess I just have to prepare myself for that. Or not defend it at all. Maybe thats the best idea. But I can't stand to sit there in silence. It's just not what I do.
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