A Makeovah

Yes, I did spend my entire summer in Los Angeles. Yes, it was incredible. No, I didn't blog about it, and here's why: I BARELY HAD TIME TO EVEN EAT. Seriously, I was so busy it was unhealthy. But it was a good busy. I learned so much absolutely invaluable information. I fell in love with the city. It was amazing.

But I am back at college for my fourth and final year and it is off to an interesting start. Last spring I met a new boy (let's call him Chuck) and we started dating casually, knowing that summer was just around the corner and we didn't want to get to invested before school ended and we would be in different cities for three months. Well, we both got pretty invested and it was hard not seeing him this summer, and we also hardly spoke because I was so busy.

So, as soon as I got back I called him and we hit it off right away. It was like no time had passed. After a couple of weeks of sheer bliss I came to realize that every time he got drunk (which, in college, is obviously 3 nights out of the 7 in a week), he would turn into a 5 year old. He was immature, rude and disrespectful. I turned into a shrew, calling him out on his bad behavior when all I wanted to do was have fun and relax. His behavior was turning me into a girl I didn't recognize. I broke it off and he understood. He told me he would have done the same thing if he was me. He can't control himself when he is drunk and I am not about to ask him to make drastic lifestyle changes for me. We are not in that place at all. The ironic thing was how mature he was during the breakup.

So that is what has been new and recent with me. I will try my hardest to keep this blog up. If I disappear for a while it's not that I am doing bigger and better things, it is that I am just lazy. No worries though, I will always eventually return.

I will post later about everything in L.A. There are lots of stories to tell...

Yes, I am obsessed.

I saw it 5 times in theatres, and since buying it at Borders yesterday (the sales clerk said I was the very first one to buy it), have watched it twice. Yes, yes. You know what I'm talking about. The movie we all love: Juno. Aren't we all a little bit in love with this movie, though?

No particular thoughts today. Just my tiny little homage to this movie before I get off the computer. To go watch Juno again.

IM BACK

Aren't you thrilled? Spring is in the air which means that my workload is much lighter. Spring break is over which means I'm no longer on the road constantly (I did 4 days of road tripping from the bay area, to Santa Barbara, to San Diego, to Disneyland, and back to the bay area--amazingly fun but exhausting). Now I'm back at school and settled in and taking fewer units for the purpose of actually enjoying myself this spring quarter.

In other news...my film project with that Chad guy has come to a screeching halt temporarily because he cannot seem to finish the script. He has struggled with the ending for a good 4 weeks now. We'll get there. We will. Also, my huge crush on Chad has completely disappeared. Just, *bam*, gone. I can't figure out why, but I'm not complaining! I have come out of a crush situation completely unscathed with a friendship still intact. I think this is what they call maturity! Go me.

And now for my rant of the day: catcalling. I mean, really guys. It happens to me in the small cowtown I go to school in, it happens to me in big cities, it happens in Europe, I mean where DOESN'T it happen? And what is the goal of these catcallers? Are they thinking I will run after their moving vehicle and say "hey baby! Give me a ride!! " No. If a girl does that, she is most likely a prostitute and in that case you did not need the catcall in the first place because she would have come up to your car anyway. Do they think all girls are flattered by this? Because we aren't. We are embarrassed and we feel objectified. And yes, all girls feel this way. Just ask one of them. So I guess that these catcallers are trying, on purpose, to objectify women. Well, thanks. You are going about it in a very humiliating and public way. Please stop. Your lime green mustang does not turn me on, nor does your blatant disrespect for women.

In my defense...

my computer totally crashed and died and has been in the repair place for 2 weeks. I am writing this little note in the small time I have on my friend's computer. I'm going through final exams right now without a computer at home and it is terrible! Wish me luck. I'll come back to you soon enough. I know, I know, you are waiting with bated breath.

Procrastination Is Your Friend

Writing my essay has proven to be boring, and thus, I blog.

Life is going well. My film project with Chad is going swimmingly. His script proves to be quite good. It's a chatty, smart comedy about a teenage boy going through a sort of identity crisis. It may sound trite but he writes it in such a way that makes it quite unique. I'm getting excited for this project. My crush on him, however, is only growing as time goes on which is bad bad news for both me and our project. I'm waiting for him to do something to seriously piss me off or for someone else to come along and distract me but after meeting him, everyone else just seems dull and dumb. I know. I'm screwed.

Brief story about Chad from this weekend actually. Him and my friend Alyssa (my future roommate) threw a small party this weekend. The second we walked in, Alyssa yelled "I'M BELLIG!!!"("bellig" n. abbr. "belligerent", extremely drunk, out of control, and hilarious.) The night was fun, yet I was not the most drunk person there at first which quickly changed once I played (and won...woot) three games of Beirut with my friend and therefore, in total, had about 10 beers in 2.5 hours. This is a lot for a girl of my stature and height.

So later on that evening I ask Chad if I may use his bathroom upstairs since the one downstairs is occupied and he obliges. When I come out of the bathroom he is standing in the hallway at the top of the stairs awkwardly with his hands in his pockets and a sort of embarrassed look on his face. This is the exchange that went down, along with my inner thoughts being shown with **.

me: oh, hey!
Chad: ooohhhh hey.
*what is chad doing chilling at the top of his stairs?*
me: do youuuu....need to use the bathroom?
Chad: oh, no no.
awkward silence....
*I'm going to take advantage of this situation*
me: Dude, I seriously love your shower curtain. A map of the world is such a bomb idea. I had no idea that Bolivia was where it was. Super educational.
Chad: oh, yeah. I love that thing.
Me: Here, let me show you something so crazy.

we go into his bathroom and I point out several things on the map that I actually genuinely find fascinating and he feigns interest and stands about 2 centimeters behind me. I can feel this kid breathing, practically.

*what is going on? Is he one of those drunk/high people that have zero depth perception and get too close? Is he trying to get closer as we gaze at this plastic map in his bathroom where Africa is blue? (p.s- I found it rather appropriate that Africa was "blue". This was one of the many things I talked to Chad about that night in the bathroom.)*

I was too drunk to remember, but somehow we ended up sitting on his bed chatting about our film, while he strummed on his guitar. Just as a refresher: Chad and I are making a movie together. He is writing the script and directing (he didn't want to direct but I am making him because it is a small project and his vision...and we don't know anyone else qualified for the job), and I am producing. Mind you, Chad says his movie is autobiographical. Also mind you, I would bone any man who can play the guitar like he can. Just sayin'.

me: Okay, here's my only concern with the script so far: We need to see the main female character, the main character's closest friend and crush, more than just once before the final scene. We need to know this girl. We need to love her as an audience before we can feel elated when they finally reunite at the end.
Long Silence...then Chad looks me right in the eyes, something he neeeeever does. He usually nervously glances around at the floor when he talks to anyone and then looks right at you when you aren't looking at him.
Chad: Yeah, I see what you mean. The audience needs to yearn for these two friends to be together so that when they finally are together they need the satisfaction that comes with it.
me: yes.
Chad: Okay...............................But I've been thinking of the end. What if the main character is too nervous around his friend to actually have anything more than friendship appear? I mean, is it suddenly out of character for the main guy to just gain courage? He is shy throughout the entire film.
Long Silence...
me: you can make it work. I have faith.
*seriously?! This conversation is something out of a movie. This is the part where you are supposed to look my in the eyes and kiss me godammit! Clearly I watch too many romantic comedies/have seen too many cheesy teen shows in my day...*
My phone then rang.
Jack (Alyssa's boyfriend): Adrienne? Are you still in the apartment? Alyssa is down here and she's puking a lot and keeps calling your name to come help her. Can you come down here?
Me: Of course.
Cue the long silence while Chad and I stare right at each other, again.
I just give him my best "you missed your chance and I dislike you for it" look and go downstairs to help my friend in need.

When I saw Chad the next night, he said "After you left I was really inspired by our conversation so I wrote 15 pages of script. I read them this morning and none of them made any sense. I guess I was too fucked up to make any good decisions last night."

?!?

Thank you for the most cryptic statement ever, Chad.

I believe that it is about a 90% chance that I am reading far too far into this whole thing, but isn't that what we do when we have crushes? Read into every little thing in hopes that it actually means something?

This project is so screwed. I am so screwed!



P.S- HAH! I am laughing so hard at that Dawson's Creek photo right now. I am resorting to images in my head like this one which clearly shows how much I've lost it. I'm a sucker for the sentimental as much as the last girl, but this is just beyond normal for me. What is wrong with me?! I'm losing my edge!

The Worst Blogger Ever Award goes too...

Me.

I know I've been MIA again. In my defense, its all because of midterms.

Fortunately, I now have tons to blog about! *golf claps*

When I am finished writing my 10 page paper tonight (which I haven't started yet), I will do a little posting love.

A rant-a-post

Sometimes I get a tad defensive and opinionated about movies, which is why I am so proud of myself today. I suppressed my urge to verbally slap my friend across the face. I am training to be diplomatic about these matters, and today was a step in the right direction.

My friend, Sarah, exclaimed today (nothing new- I knew this about her but each time it comes up again it hits me like a bullet train) that she "can't stand movies with sad or depressing endings. There's enough sadness in the world! Why would [she] want to watch it in a movie?!" xoxo! smiley face! heart!

gag.

I'm sorry. I love this girl so dearly. She is my oldest friend. But each time she mentions this I literally die a little inside. You know why? Because this girl will never even begin to understand what it is that I truly love and why I truly love it. I will spend the rest of my life completely devoted to creating films that change peoples lives on the biggest and smallest levels, and my close close friend will never even understand that and what that means.

So, it is not so much about the fact that I believe her statement to be completely ridiculous. She is entitled to her opinion. A lot of people feel that way about movies. It just breaks my heart that she cannot ever share with me my true love for movies and my belief in the power of film to create change.

Also, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting on the campus quad with Sarah, on a beautiful day, talking about how funny it was that all of my girlfriends from high school have decided to go into the medical field (literally- all but one!). Sarah then says, "that must make your chosen profession seem pretty shallow, doesn't it?" I just sat there and stared at her. I knew what she meant. And yes, I do have an inferiority complex about my chosen profession because it isn't doctor, lawyer, politician, vet, you get the idea. But to say that to me, literally made me feel this: | | big. I know she meant no harm. I know she was joking, but it seriously hurt me. I responded with my usual "I like to think I'm affecting people from another angle" shpeel but I was still hurt. It reminded me of the time my friend from highschool's parents (who are both successful lawyers, and very politically involved, who used to LOVE me because I wanted to be a politician) took me and another friend of ours out to dinner, and ignored me the entire meal, and only talked to our other friend about getting into Med school. Those people used to love me. Now they ignored me because I changed course. This was the same feeling. People around me losing faith and interest.

It makes those who have faith in me all that much more important.

The incident with Sarah on the quad made me realize that for my whole life I will have to defend my chosen path to people who deem it unworthy, selling out, shallow, whatever. I guess I just have to prepare myself for that. Or not defend it at all. Maybe thats the best idea. But I can't stand to sit there in silence. It's just not what I do.